Rush hours in big cities are actually good for some things. Things like, not spilling your coffee while driving to work, phoning sports talk shows to pretend you are smarter than the coach, and for listening to radio DJ tom-foolery that's worth at least a giggle from time to time. But, it's also good for random quizzical thinking time...and, this morning I had some.
As I sat in my car, mostly zoned out, I noticed the plethora of car monnikers adorning our vehicles, and thought about what they actually meant. I mean, I drive a Mazda 6, that one's easy; but what in God's name is a Cobalt?? The investigative research entitled, "What the Hell am I Driving" follows:
- "Cobalt": Well Cobalt owner, you drive a whitish-pink metallic substance...Awesome!
- "Sorrento": You currently sit in an Italian sea-port near Naples...that's pretty cool - should come with an espresso machine I think.
- "Malibu": Yeah, this one's a toss - take your pick between a sun-drenched California beach-town where the most spoken word in the english dialect is "like"; or a damn-good Carribean rum with some great commercials.
- "Mustang": Well sir (or madam), you're riding a horse, or if you prefer, you're a member of a junior hockey team from the awesome 80's hockey movie entitled "Youngblood." Your linemates: Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, and Keanu Reeves....Sweet!
- "Lancer" : Well, buying a Mistubishi Lancer makes you a cavalry soldier weilding a lance. I've driven beside some people who are as dangerous....and usually their insurance payments equal about half as much as mine.
- "Porsche 911" : EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!....or perhaps you have too much money or are about 45 and wishing you were 20. There's a good movie about that, Kevin Spacey's in it.
- "Prelude" : You're in Honda's version of a preliminary to an event....so when the light turns green, wait....still waiting??
- "Probe" : Ummm...well....y'know...maybe you should consider selling it. 'Nuff said.
- "Taurus" : The fixed earth sign...or you're 17 and your parents used to drive one and don't want it anymore.
- "Fiesta": Wooooo! PARTY!....hey padre, can you pass me the chimichanga??
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