About 2 weeks before Christmas and all through the house...

Well, once again old man winter has moved in to stay here in cold, snowy, Edmonton Alberta. The Christmas lights are up, the malls are busier than they need be, and top forty hits on the radio are now complimented by...Christmas Carols!

I am hot and cold on the whole Christmas Carol thing. I mean, I'll take the classics any day. I'm talking about Nat King Coal singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire, or Manheim Steamroller putting out an inspiring Carol of the Bells. Of course, how could we forget the quintessential classic, Boney M Christmas album. Feliz Navidad, I Wanna Wish You a Merry Christmas, and Little Drummer Boy...Classic. And since EVERYBODY owns a copy, you'd have to put the band who penned "Rasputin" up there with the Christmas Carol greats.

But, there's a bunch of rubbish out there too, which in my mind defaces the aforementioned greats. Does Jessica Simpson really need to put out a Christmas album?? Wow, can you say money grab? And brutal too! Or, every boy band that ever existed demolishing Jingle Bells; New Kids, your falsetto wasn't any good in your pre-pubescence during the early nineties, and....well, it still isn't. Britney, Mariah, Celine, and the like...please save it. You've all got enough money, and enough issues for that matter - please don't give us any with your overdone versions of Silent Night. I wish it was more of a silent night when I hear this stuff.

See, my perception may also be skewed, as I have a mom who looooves Christmas...and ALL of these Christmas Carol impressionists. From the first of December to the seventh of January, all of these CD's are on a loop at the Ternovoy house. God bless the old man though, who, when it's just the boys playing crib late Christmas Eve, encourages some Tom Petty, or a mix of new Coldplay and classic Cat Stevens...it's a breath of fresh air, just in the nick of time. But mom, we still love ya!

Merry Christmas....Bing Crosby style.

Hello...I drive a....actually I have no idea what I drive!

Rush hours in big cities are actually good for some things. Things like, not spilling your coffee while driving to work, phoning sports talk shows to pretend you are smarter than the coach, and for listening to radio DJ tom-foolery that's worth at least a giggle from time to time. But, it's also good for random quizzical thinking time...and, this morning I had some.

As I sat in my car, mostly zoned out, I noticed the plethora of car monnikers adorning our vehicles, and thought about what they actually meant. I mean, I drive a Mazda 6, that one's easy; but what in God's name is a Cobalt?? The investigative research entitled, "What the Hell am I Driving" follows:

- "Cobalt": Well Cobalt owner, you drive a whitish-pink metallic substance...Awesome!

- "Sorrento": You currently sit in an Italian sea-port near Naples...that's pretty cool - should come with an espresso machine I think.

- "Malibu": Yeah, this one's a toss - take your pick between a sun-drenched California beach-town where the most spoken word in the english dialect is "like"; or a damn-good Carribean rum with some great commercials.

- "Mustang": Well sir (or madam), you're riding a horse, or if you prefer, you're a member of a junior hockey team from the awesome 80's hockey movie entitled "Youngblood." Your linemates: Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, and Keanu Reeves....Sweet!

- "Lancer" : Well, buying a Mistubishi Lancer makes you a cavalry soldier weilding a lance. I've driven beside some people who are as dangerous....and usually their insurance payments equal about half as much as mine.

- "Porsche 911" : EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!....or perhaps you have too much money or are about 45 and wishing you were 20. There's a good movie about that, Kevin Spacey's in it.

- "Prelude" : You're in Honda's version of a preliminary to an event....so when the light turns green, wait....still waiting??

- "Probe" : Ummm...well....y'know...maybe you should consider selling it. 'Nuff said.

- "Taurus" : The fixed earth sign...or you're 17 and your parents used to drive one and don't want it anymore.

- "Fiesta": Wooooo! PARTY!....hey padre, can you pass me the chimichanga??

Our words, they are a changin'

You know when you have one of those impromptu discussions that make you think about something you've previously never considered giving any thought to? Usually these talks are with a stranger - someone who sits down beside you (say at a bar, as in my case), who you try your best to ignore, but end up leaving two hours later, feeling enriched by the experience. In my case, this particular chat brought to light some thoughts about words that have been usurped by great product branding campaigns.

This is especially pertinent as Christmas sneaks up on us once again. Wait, it isn't sneaky at all. In fact, I saw my first Christmas commercial the day after Halloween. It's subject of course...buying electronic gifts for little Johnny...buy! buy! buy!...Christmas spirit - none. Jesus reference, zero. Though this may be a topic for another day, it serves as a perfect segue into my list of words that have taken a back seat to superior branding campaigns. For example:

1. What used to be a "photocopying" machine is now known as......."Xeroxing."
2. It used to be you had a "cola", now you grab a "Pepsi" out of the fridge.
3. Need a "tissue??"...Nope, you need a "Kleenex."
4. "MP3 players"...You mean an "I-POD right?"
5. "Gay" used to mean being happy...now, being "gay" means...something else - (not that there's anything wrong with that).
6. In winter, Canadians used to "snowmobile"...now, for the most part, they "Ski-Doo."

Well, you get the idea. Isn't it amazing how product branding eeks its way into our vernacular? It rings especially clear around "Christmas"...I mean, "Materialsim Day."

If you can think of any other "wordular" transitions, please leave a comment and enlighten me... Happy shopping!

The Alberta Advantage?

For years now, Albertan's have been hearing about the Alberta Advantage. About how life in Wild-Rose country is more prosperous, more fulfilling, and more apt provide opportunity. While it is true that Alberta - largely thanks to geological fortune - is home to a vast, capital-producing oil deposit that has allowed our province to surpass others in terms of provincial GDP and surplus, there is, as always, another side to the coin.

As a student living in this land of opportunity, and trying to make ends meet working in the service industry at night - often until one or two in the morning, I wonder if this prosperity is just a myth. Over the past year, I have noticed a decline in gratuities paid to servers and bartenders. And it has caused me to wonder, just how, if people can afford to dine out at $150 a hit, they cannot afford to leave a decent tip to those who, despite having at least a full-time job as full time students, work harder than most perceive to ensure restauranteurs have a pleasant meal and evening out. So, in an effort to shed some light on how the system actually works, a simple mathematical demonstration -

Dinner for two - $100
10% tip - $10
Server tipout to house - 4% (or $4.00)
Server walks with a grand total of $6.00

So, with the unwritten rule of the 10% tip, your server, who likely was at school for eight hours before going to work, walks with $6.00...sound decent? Oh yeah, and its quite likely that said server faces an hour or two of homework after their shift.

Now, I realize that sometimes service can be atrocious, and thus the gratuity left should reflect that. But I am also willing to bet that the likelihood of sub-par service is miniscule in relation to service that meets or exceeds patron expectation. So...in this land of prosperity, is it not within our means to compensate the hard working people of the service industry with at least a 15% tip?

Oh and one more thing - leaving no tip at all, or perhaps throwing a five thinking you're doing us a favor really means...we, who've ensured your coffee is hot, your food is prompt, your beer is cold, or your water is full, have to pay a house tip from our own pockets for making sure you have a great evening.

And trust me....it happens.

Just some food for thought.

Palin on SNL

Is it just me, or was it refreshing to see the human side of the American Presidential hopefuls over the past week?? Amidst the suffocating media coverage -CNN should change its monniker - it was a breath of fresh air to watch Barack Obama, John McCain, and even Sarah Palin step out of themselves for a short time and bestow their (or what we are to believe is their own) comedic prowess on us. First Obama and McCain take turns roasting each other at a charity dinner in New York Wednesday - Obama goes all out to win this one in my opinion - then Tina Fey...I mean Sarah Palin..I mean - it's honestly hard to tell - put on a skit on Saturday Night Live that was actually funny. I mean, you have to go back to Toonces the Driving Cat to remember something that actually induced outward laughter on that show....and besides, I invented laughter, and I own the show, sooooo (you have to be a fan of the show to get that one...I hope someone does). With under twenty days to go until the votes get recounted several times, it was actually a joy to watch.
Since this blog is on the verge of becoming political, someting I once said I'd avoid, I'd like to offer a "Hell Yeah" to the Edmonton Oilers, who are 4-0 this young hockey season and still haven't put together a complete effort. Though it's early, it seems things in Oil Country are finally on the up and up. But...on the flipside, the Calgary media still refuses to pin Calgary Flames losses on the fact that, heaven forbid, there are teams out there that are actually better than their beloved
Flames. Here's an idea...how about penning something like:"Kiprusoff hasn't played well, Phaneuf's been too busy trying to look mean all the time to do anything productive on the ice, and let'sbe serious, Mike Keenan's done....well nothing, since Mark Messier won him the Stanley Cup fifteen years ago...." - great last name though.

The Right to Vote?

Well, another Federal election has come and gone - thankfully. I myself do not vote, and quite frankly this choice was made for the plain and simple fact that, well, I just can't find myself caring. This is especially true when: a. we just had a federal election (are we going to turn this into an image-tarring, pertinent issue dodging event to be held and subsequently scoffed at every nine months?) and b. I didn't see, in any way, shape, or form, any significant change arising out of this forum. Too, I should point out that along with my apathy towards the voting process comes an absence of complaining. You will not hear me whining about financial policy or foreign military involvement - which is part-in-parcel to my stance on voting at this juncture in my short and thus far politically uninvolved life. What did amaze me though - almost to the point where I considered stopping in at my local polling station - was the amount of involvement in the process by my peers. There are not enough fingers on my hands to count the number of times I was asked if I had voted? Answer: no. Response: GASP...eye roll...and somewhat snide, "Well, why not??" Essentially, my response was the same each time, "I just don't have it in me to care, and besides, I don't know enough to make an informed choice." Perhaps one day though, when I get through the mindset of taking life one step at a time - an approach which every now and then leaves me stepping in it - I will mark a ballot box. The encouraging thing to me though was that my generation, often misjudged for being lazy, devoid of communication skills vis-a-vie the text message revolution, and considered to have lost the attention span to read and enjoy a good book is taking a stand...and perhaps ultimately having their voices heard. But wait...on the flipside, when my choices include Stephen "not really too sure what to think of you" Harper, Stephane "man you look more scared than Bambi in a headlight show" Dion, or Jack "somehow I'll find the money to make our country work like Sweden" Layton, maybe I was right not to vote.